No joke. It gives you a list of options to choose from such as small talk, insults, and pickup lines. I choose pickup lines and some of the phrases were:
"Did you get your hair from a silkworm?"
"Can I smell your ear?"
"Is that your real neck?"
WHAT DO YOU AMERICANS MEAN WHEN A SHOW IS ON AT LIKE FUCKIN “8/7c” WHAT IS THAT????
We never switched over to metric timekeeping. The c stands for “Caw”, referring to how many times a majestic eagle has flown overhead and cawed that day. Sometimes the eagles are feeling sluggish, so the show could be on after either the 7th or 8th caw.
Okay so the Colbert Report posted a link to the Ellen Page interview, right
And I was already happy it was a fan favorite. But THE COMMENTS
IT’S JUST TOO GREAT
ADAM AND EVE NOT ADAM AND MAPLE LEAF
omfg so today I saw a man and a woman holding hands in public, i mean i don’t have anything against heterosexuality but don’t flaunt it in front of me, think of the kids omfg
I don’t have anything against it either. I really don’t. My best friend is straight, but like, keep it in the bedroom you know?
It seems like cats never forgot the fact that they were worshipped as gods thousands of years ago
Breaking news: White fuckboys on twitter bitching how funny it is that Beyoncé is a feminist when she and her dancers were provocative and half naked. Despite feminism being about empowerment and a woman’s right to do whatever the hell she pleases with it, they just don’t seem to be able to grasp this concept.
In other news, men still don’t know what feminism is, still bitter that they aren’t Beyoncé and still making themselves look like asses on the internet.
And now the weather.
[sending kid off to first day of school] good luck, and DONT fuck it up!
ive come to a point in my life where 2am feels like 2pm
have you ever known somebody so shitty they completely ruin that first name for you?